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Different Ramblings

Pros of being sick: No school, computer all day, no walking home, you can be as loud as you want (no one home, aw yeeeaaah), eating everything in the fridge is considered perfectly acceptable, going days without changing clothes is totally fine.

Cons of being sick: Endless coughing/hacking/choking, weird pains in previously unknown areas, headaches that feel like someone alternated between smacking you with an Unabridged Webster's and a hammer that was equipped with shanks, you can't remember anything, taking 7 different kinds of meds in 3 days because none of 'em work, sleepless nights filled with more pain and coughing, extreme boredom, starting to hate everything about yourself, no motivation to do anything whatsoever, and...

You have no idea what's going on with your body, and what's wrong with it, and you're terrified because you're all alone in a two-story house, and you periodically fade in and out remembering what's going on. You take a crapton of medications but none of them work, and even after everything the aching and throbbing only gets worse. You feel like your mind and body are slowly killing themselves, causing you to lose your mind and for some reason begin to think of everything that'd ever been/is wrong with you. And you hate yourself for being weak and being sick, and you hate feeling so vulnerable and scared, and this all only adds to the mounting stress on you because you have two huge assignments due to the same teacher, and they're expecting something so amazingly awesome you'll end up winning $1000 come May, and yet you're afraid of failing them and ultimately yourself, which the sickness only highlights and makes worse.

.....So. Yeah. Last week we went camping, and I had this awful migraine. But after some Tylenol or whatever it went away. But Friday the damn thing came back, and it refused to go away. And now I'm coughing like crazy and nothing is helping and I'm so afraid of what's wrong with me.

I don't know. I felt like I needed to ramble that off. Still, I'm on the comp all day now, which is kind of sort of okay. Except there's nothing good in the fridge, which sucks. A lot.

I finished Hunger Games yesterday, and I'm about 50-70 pages into Paper Towns. My nook keeps freezing but I figured how to reset it, so as long as I don't lose the tiny-ass screw I'm good.

In much more positive news, though, my family is planning a 1-2 week trip to Japan for Spring Break 2011. I have...$305 saved up currently. :U Plus I have some opportunities to sell of my flats, which should bring in some money. So the prospect of a huge shopping spree is cheering em up immensely. Plus, despite the art block that comes with this stupid sickness, I have an art project idea I'm forcing myself into, to pick my motivation back up.

I don't usually ramble and rant and vent or w/e, but it's kind of nice to type this all out. Ah, well. Hopefully I don't lose my mind too much today. C: There's some stuff I really want to draw....